


don't walk away (i'm falling down)

by arabmorgan



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Compliant, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 13:28:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18592189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arabmorgan/pseuds/arabmorgan
Summary: Pepper and all of the many things that she knows.





	don't walk away (i'm falling down)

Pepper is smart – it’s a simple fact and one that she is well aware of.

She knows plenty of things, from the right way to handle a press conference that someone else (usually Tony) has gone and royally screwed up, to making a mean lasagna with just the right amount of cheese that Morgan adores. She knows exactly how to walk and how to talk to cow a whole boardroom full of middle-aged men who will never give her half the respect she deserves. She knows how to tell the difference between cumulus and cumulonimbus clouds, and which one means she should hang her washing out to dry, on the bare patch of land behind their lovely little cottage.

Many of the things she knows are about Tony, little crumbs collected over the years until all of a sudden she knows him even better than she knows herself. She knows the sound of his breathing when he’s finally fallen asleep beside her, the constant workings of his brain finally winding down for the night. She knows whether the gleam in his eyes means that he wants to cuddle on the couch with Morgan snug against them or if they will soon be stumbling into the bedroom, giggling against each other’s mouths. She knows the sag of his shoulders when the guilt he has no business bearing comes crashing down upon him. She knows that he can never let well enough alone if there is something he can do to make the world right again.

And because she knows all of this, she has also always known that she would lose him one day, just like this. Fighting to save a world that has never deserved him.

Perhaps it’s unbelievably selfish, but she thinks that the happiness given to her in the last five years is unmatched by anything they have had before, even if it was born from grief and dust and ashes. Those days where she spent her time managing the few small businesses they owned that were thriving the next town over, while Tony and Morgan gamboled about outdoors in the sunshine. Those afternoons where she and Tony took their suits out and twisted through the air over and around each other, weightless with joy. Those nights where she read on the couch while Tony tinkered away, humming to himself, mere feet apart from each other instead of floors.

She thinks of the moments spent with his head in her lap and her fingers trawling through his hair, his eyes closed yet still making impertinently smart remarks to draw a laugh out of her. She already misses the hours spent painting with Morgan, splotches of colour somehow finding their way onto her fingers, a streak of purple along the side of his face and sinking into his goatee, a dab of yellow bright on her little girl’s nose.

Once again, he has chosen the world over them. He will not see Morgan grow any taller than four feet, he will not see her drive her first car or graduate or get married. He will not be by her side when Morgan moves out, he will not be there in their bed, or waiting with his arms wide open in welcome, or anywhere at all.

But as she looks at the love of her life fading before her eyes, Pepper can’t find even a smidgen of anger within herself. He has chosen the world over them, over her, time and time again, but she knows that she wouldn’t have loved him any other way.

 _We’ll be okay_ , she tells herself over and over, a mantra to ground her as she holds Peter tight. _We’ll be okay_ , as she crouches and reaches for him, as if repetition will make it true. _We’re all going to be okay._

“You can rest now,” she says, her voice coming out not even half as broken as she feels.

And then she knows that he is gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Tbh I started crying within the first 10 minutes of the movie when Pepper appeared because I was so goddamn relieved she was okay and Tony wouldn't have to lose her too. And then obviously I bawled my eyes out through the whole conclusion of Endgame so.
> 
> I still can't quite believe he's gone. It hurts so much.


End file.
